I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
