god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And then he peed in my hair
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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