I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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