Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
