went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
