That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
