just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
A bitchslap is in order.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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