I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
