Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
