but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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