physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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