he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
