i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
