who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
