i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
