At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
