What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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