im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
