You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
