a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
