sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
