I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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