A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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