o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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