Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
