don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
