fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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