I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
