My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
