There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
