My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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