You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
