this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
