either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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