Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
