You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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