Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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