just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
