i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
