oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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