walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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