omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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