the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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