I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
