I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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