Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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