Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
