ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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