She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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