Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
